Bereavement: Coping With Loss Of A Loved One

While it is an inevitable part of life, bereavement coping is always difficult. The death of a loved one, whether unexpected and sudden or following a long illness, can leave many consumed with sadness and convinced that they will never feel happiness again. These emotions, while unpleasant, are natural reactions to loss. There is no template to follow for grief, however there are wrong ways to express how you are feeling. It is vital that you allow yourself to grieve in a healthy way.

Grieving is a very personalized experience and there is no specific timetable on how long it will last in your life. It takes time and will occur gradually. There will be days in the beginning where you will think about your loved one almost all of the time. Eventually this will no longer be the case and you will be able to focus on other things for longer periods without being consumed with thoughts of your loss. While a friend may have gotten over her grief in a matter of weeks or months, yours could be a longer process and last years.

It is important to remember that trying to avoid your grief will only draw out the process. Ignoring your feelings will not make them disappear but will in fact make the grieving process more drawn out. Taking steps in bereavement coping is essential to a healthy healing process. One thing to remember is that crying does not make you weak. However, if you do not cry, it does not mean that you are not grieving either. Crying is a body's response to sadness and it is a natural response, but it is not the only response a person can have to grief. Those who do not cry during the death of a loved one are not insensitive or unloving, they simply have other ways of expressing their grief.

Bereavement coping is different for everyone and may include the five well documented stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Know that you may experience any or all of these steps and that is normal. It is also natural for you to not experience these emotions in this particular order. Of course it is possible to cope with your loss without experiencing any of these stages of grief. It is a very individualized process and is not the same for everyone.

Grief can sometimes be described as a roller coaster ride. It is rougher and harder at the very beginning. It comes complete with ups and downs, highs and lows. The lows and downs are going to be lower during some points and longer in others. The hard times will grow less difficult to manage as the "ride" goes on and in the end, you will have slow smoother ride into the station. Turn to your family and friends during the difficult times and rely on your faith to keep you on an even keel. If you need extra help, join a support group. Most importantly, take care of yourself as you are grieving. Eat, sleep and exercise to keep your body strong.

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Steve Phillips is an author on the subject of coping with bereavement and dealing with death. He has a degree from the University of Cambridge in England and has wide experience of the challenges facing us in our personal lives.


http://www.dealingwithdeath.com/bereavement-coping/